I work with someone who had a sex change to be a woman. My question is, is it rude to wish them a happy mother's day even though when he ( I mean, she) had children, he was a man?
Yes, say it. There is nothing rude about saying it to a TS. If anything, we'd consider it rude if you didn't say it. As long as you say it and mean it the same as if you said it to any other woman and under the otherwise same conditions.
It is very easy to know how to treat a TS. In fact, it is so easy that most people stumble over it. If you want to know how to treat an MtF TS, ask yourself how you would treat any other woman in the same circumstance. Similar can be said about treating an FtM TS (those who live as men) in that you would ask yourself how you'd treat a man.
To those confused, MtF means male-to-female, and FtM means female-to-male. True-TSs are not both inside nor a gradient. They have a body that is completely or mostly for one sex, and they have a mind that is completely for the opposing gender. The mind is what you should always use as the reference. The goal is to fix the body to completely match the brain as much as possible. Unlike most TGs, TSs don't embrace both genders. They only claim and identify with one. So unlike a man-to-woman TG who is part man and part woman in a male body, a TS is all masculine *OR* all feminine in the wrong body, the wrong body that they are correcting to no longer be at odds with their gender.
So, what does this all mean in regards to the question? For the TS, always treat them fully according to the last letter in MtF or FtM. If they are transitioning to female, treat them fully as a woman and as if they have always been a woman for life. If they are transitioning to male, treat them fully as a man and as if they've been a man their entire life.
March 24th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
yea
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March 24th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
If your intention is good, by all means.
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March 24th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
hey go for it and let me know what happens
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March 24th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
sex change? then yes its cool they want to be a woman even tho they cannot change their dna.
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March 24th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I would say happy mothers day but be formal
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March 24th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
No, a mother is someone who is female and has children and loves them and take care of them. You will insult her if you keep on bringing back that she was once a man. Better yet, why don't you say if you could wish her a happy mother's day? and if she says sure, then do it.
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March 24th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
I dont think it's rude b/c now he is a woman. So I would still say Happy Mother's day! If you feel uncomfortable "Say Happy Parent Day"
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March 24th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Well they had the sex change to become a woman therefore she considers herself a woman and if she has kids then she would consider herself a mom over a dad. So it should be perfectly fine to say this. In fact it would probably make her happy and feel more accepted to be noticed as a mom now.
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March 24th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
don't do it
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March 24th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
NO.
the she-man is a transexual, s/he'll think you're racist.
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March 24th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Yes, befcause thats what they want to be a mother. As long as you don't mean no harn.
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March 24th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Honestly, with all the horrible things a transsexual tends to hear, I doubt she's going to be offended by you making an obvious attempt to be nice.
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March 24th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
if they r a women then yes
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March 24th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Yes, say it. There is nothing rude about saying it to a TS. If anything, we'd consider it rude if you didn't say it. As long as you say it and mean it the same as if you said it to any other woman and under the otherwise same conditions.
It is very easy to know how to treat a TS. In fact, it is so easy that most people stumble over it. If you want to know how to treat an MtF TS, ask yourself how you would treat any other woman in the same circumstance. Similar can be said about treating an FtM TS (those who live as men) in that you would ask yourself how you'd treat a man.
To those confused, MtF means male-to-female, and FtM means female-to-male. True-TSs are not both inside nor a gradient. They have a body that is completely or mostly for one sex, and they have a mind that is completely for the opposing gender. The mind is what you should always use as the reference. The goal is to fix the body to completely match the brain as much as possible. Unlike most TGs, TSs don't embrace both genders. They only claim and identify with one. So unlike a man-to-woman TG who is part man and part woman in a male body, a TS is all masculine *OR* all feminine in the wrong body, the wrong body that they are correcting to no longer be at odds with their gender.
So, what does this all mean in regards to the question? For the TS, always treat them fully according to the last letter in MtF or FtM. If they are transitioning to female, treat them fully as a woman and as if they have always been a woman for life. If they are transitioning to male, treat them fully as a man and as if they've been a man their entire life.
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March 24th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
No it is not rude. I bet they will say thank you.
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